Ignorance is Bliss

My parents were at the drive-in theatre one night, in that long ago time when the drive-in was the place to be on friday night. The movie playing was so good that they actually paid attention to it instead of necking like a couple of teenagers. Of course, in the middle of the movie, one of them had to use the bathroom.

Neither of them would tell me which one, exactly, so we'll blame it on Dad.

Some time later, my dad reached carefully out the window and placed a sloshing, steaming popcorn bucket on the ground beside the car. Relieved, they returned to watching the movie. Another couple wasn't so uninhibited, however, and one of them went rushing by to the bathroom.

On his way back, he stumbled on the uneven ground, and caught himself on the door of my parents' car. Apologizing, he continued on his way, cursing his clumsiness and lack of night vision. Hopping into his nice convertible, he remarked to his partner "You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear I just steped in a bucket of piss."

Mom's eyes went wide as her hand flew to her mouth. Dad bit his knuckles to keep from laughing, a tear squeezing out the corner of his eye.

I wonder how my dad was planning to dispose of that popcorn bucket when the movie was over.